Did Bilam really think he could outsmart Hashem?
The Talmud cites several "all inclusive" principles. Hillel told the proselyte that the essence of Torah is, "Love your fellow as yourself," and Rabbi Akiva said that this is the all-encompassing principle of Torah. Ben Azai said that the verse "This is the book of the generations of Adam" (Breishis 5:1) is all-encompassing. The Talmud says, "Which is a small verse upon which all the essentials of the Torah depend? ‘Know Him (Hashem) in all your ways' (Mishlei 3:6, Berachos 63a)."
I would like to suggest that there is an all-encompassing verse of mussar, human behavior and psychology: "All the ways of a person are right in one's own eyes" (Mishlei 21:2). Some people may do something wrong even though they know that it is wrong, but the overwhelming number of people believe that what they are doing is right, and are often very resistant to any suggestion that they may be wrong.
Perhaps this is the greatness of the patriarch Abraham in his willingness to sacrifice his son, Isaac. For decades, Abraham vociferously protested the pagan ritual of human sacrifice. "G-d would never desire human sacrifice. This is an abomination!" If he carried out the Divine command to bring Isaac as an offering, he would have to declare, "All my life, I have been in error." Abraham was willing to do so. It is a sign of greatness to admit that one was wrong.
We are often victims of self-deception. When we have a desire to do something, the defense mechanisms in our subconscious minds can develop ingenious reasons why what we wish to do is right and proper. This is termed rationalization. We concoct logical reasons for what we wish to do and we believe them, and if criticized, we vigorously defend our mistakes.
Rabbi Eliahu Dessler in Michtav M'Eliyahu (Search for Truth) has a powerful essay on "the Perspective of Truth." He cites the Torah statement that "a bribe will blind the eyes of a judge and distort even the thoughts of the righteous" (Devarim 16:19). We are all bribed by our desires, and we cannot think objectively. We rationalize our behavior. The Talmud says that even the minutest bribe can bring about a distortion of judgment.
The tzaddik of Apt was a judge in a litigation that went on for several days. Abruptly, he withdrew from the case, saying he had lost his objectivity.
On Friday evening, when he put on his Shabbos kaftan, he found an envelope with money that one of the litigants had put into a pocket. "Now I understand why I lost my objectivity. A litigant had tried to bribe me by putting money in my kaftan. Even though I did not discover the bribe until several days later, my thinking had shifted to favoring him. I did not know why this was happening, but I felt that I had lost my objectivity. That is the power of a bribe. It can distort your judgment even if you are unaware of the bribe."
How much more so are we subject to distortion when the "bribe" is within us, and has the power of a strong desire!
A chassid asked Rebbe Yisrael of Rhizin for a guideline to avoid faulty decisions. The rebbe told him that the way a tightrope walker keeps his delicate balance to avoid falling to his death, is that when he feels a tug to one side, he leans a bit to the other side. "Many of your desires arise from the yetzer hara. When you feel an urge to do something, pause and think of reasons why you should not do it. That may enable you to keep your balance, to do what is right."
Forty years of treating people with alcohol addiction have shown me the validity of Rabbi Dessler's observation. One recovered alcoholic said, "In all my years of drinking, I never took a drink unless I decided it was the right thing to do at the time." The calamitous results of alcohol and drug abuse are totally ignored. The craving for the pleasant effect of the chemical blinds one to its disastrous consequences. One is bribed into rationalization. Rabbi Dessler states that intense learning of mussar and sincere prayer for Divine guidance can protect us from dangerous self-deception.
Bilam was no fool. He was told in no uncertain terms that Hashem would not allow him to curse Israel, and he obviously knew the infinite power of Hashem. Yet, his hatred for Israel distorted his judgment, and he tried to do what he logically knew he could not do.
If we wish to do what is right, we must be on the alert and on the defensive. Our defense mechanisms operate in the subconscious part of our minds which is "cunning, baffling and powerful." We must exercise our conscious mind to the limit with prayer and mussar to avoid self-deception.