At first glance it is most perplexing why the Torah would devote over sixty verses to relate how Eliezer (whose name does not appear even once) chooses a wife for Yitzchak. Our Rabbis give an answer, (Bereishis Rabbah 60:11) when they remind us that, "yafeh sichson - table talk of the servants of our Patriarchs is even more beloved than the laws of their children". The exact details and nuances are recorded and repeated to teach us how to ideally live our lives.
The servant uses the character trait of chessed as the criteria for eligibility to carry on the Abrahamic tradition. He looks for "a little water" (24:17) and receives instead not only a drink for him, but her drawing for all the ten camels that accompany him. It is passuk 21 and the commentary of the Seforno that I'd like to share. "The man was astonished" at the zerizos - alacrity of being totally engrossed in the service of kindness. "Reflecting silently", the servant remains silent, not at any point saying the expected social nicety of, "that's enough" or "you really shouldn't", but rather waiting to see if she will complete her service in the way of chessed hagamur - total chessed, not looking or expecting any reward or compliment. Her persona demonstrated that not only was she not expecting any gift or tip, but even a thank you was not necessary. The test that Rifka passed was not only to see if she would "speak little and do a lot" as Avraham did in his hachnosas orchim but to see the level of total altruism, and that was the ultimate litmus test, the lishma of her chessed.
I'd like to suggest that when beginning a new world order, the foundation must be one of pure altruism and absolute kindness. Hashem saves Noah in the ark. The Ramban (6:19) teaches that this was absolutely miraculous, as ten arks could not house all the animals and food for a year. Why, however, does Hashem not provide another miracle, namely an automatic feeder in each compartment so that once a week Noach would fill it and the animals would be nourished automatically? An answer is, as we find in the last chapter of the Gemara Sanhedrin, that Shem, the son of Noach, tells Eliezer, Avraham's servant, that they were busy literally day and night feeding the animals. Why? The world was destroyed because of chomas, a total breakdown of interpersonal behavior. To start the new world right one needed to correct the flaws of old one; olam chessed yibaneh - the world is based on chessed, and therefore Noach and his sons were busy non-stop.
Similarly, Avraham Avinu, is establishing a new world, the Jewish world. The foundation of this world as well needs to be built not only on chessed, but in the words of the Seforno, chessed hagamur. The chessed of Avraham demonstrated his total altruism, and this exalted behavior had to be demonstrated by Yitzchak's wife, who must carry on this trait of chessed hagamur.
There are two sources for the performance of chessed in the Torah. The first is (Vayikra 19:18), "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The Ramban explains this mean that one should be empathetic and feel for the next one in their particular situation as you would want others to be there for you in your time of need. Dance at their wedding as you would want people dancing at yours and visit them in their moment of stress, sickness and loss, as you would want to be visited and remembered.
The second source comes from the end of the Torah. The six-hundred and eleventh mitzvah, according to the Sefer HaChinuch, is that of (Devarim 28:9) "v'halachta bedrachov - and you shall go in His ways." As He is just, kind and merciful, so must we be. This charge to emulate the ways of Hashem significantly raises the bar and expectations, not only in the manner of the fulfillment of the chessed, but in the aftermath as well. Hashem does His chessed completely altruistically.
A neighbor is out of work and you knock on his door and give him an envelope of cash, this is a chessed. However, slipping it under the door and running away is a higher chessed, approaching the chessed gamur of the Seforno. (See the eight levels of giving charity as found in the Rambam Hilchos Matnas Aniyim 10:7-14.)
The Gemara (Pesachim 8a) states that one giving charity on condition that their relative be cured, or that they should earn a share in the world to come, is called a tzadik gamur - a completely righteous individual. Tosfos (ibid 8b) asks that isn't one not to serve Hashem on condition of getting rewarded, as stated in the first chapter of Avos (1:3)? Tosfos answers that the one giving the charity is completely sincere about the giving of the charity, and his giving is not conditional on the cure of the sick individual such that if they are not cured, he would not give. This individual is still a tzadik gamur as one can have two simultaneous intentions, one for the mitzvah, one for the cure.
Eliezer is looking for the exceptional chessed. If Rifka is to join the house of Avraham, for her to be the amud hachessed - the beacon of chessed to exemplify and model for the progeny throughout the generations, she had to perform chessed hagamur.
The Chofetz Chaim (in his book Ahavas Chessed 2:23) teaches that ideally before one does a chessed they should first pause and say to themselves: I am about to perform this particular mitzvah. For example, before lending money to another Jew one should focus on fulfilling the mitzvah of (Shemos 22:23) "im kesef talveh - when you lend money." If one is privileged to get someone else a job, one should focus on fulfilling (Vayikra 25:35) "vehechezakta bo - support him." Before paying one's workers in a timely way, focus on (Devarim 24:15) "beyomo teetain sicharo - pay the wages on that day." It is rumored that before Rav Elyashiv zt"l opened his door to respond to the many different questions coming his way he would say to himself, I am about to fulfill the mitzvah of gemilus chasadim.
The Chofetz Chaim further advances the performance of chessed, by applying the dictum found in the Talmud (Pesachim 50B) whereby we are taught "a person should always engage in the study of Torah and the performance of mitzvos even though it is not for its own sake, because from learning Torah and performing a mitzvah not for its own sake, he will eventually come to perform for its own sake." While this teaching is usually associated with mitzvos man to G-d, the Chofetz Chaim extends it as well to mitzvos man to man. One should do acts of kindness, even if they may lack the element of complete or total altruism, since with the continuous performance of acts of kindness, one will grow to aspire to do so independent of any personal gain. The good feeling that one has after being thanked for the chessed, and even if one is not thanked, the good feeling that they have for having done something good, diminishes the chessed. Ideally if one borrows money not only may they not pay interest, but even saying "thank you" is shunned upon by the Rabbis as a form of ribis d'varim, a form of verbal interest. An appropriate response is tizku l'mitzvos. When one realizes how advanced and different Jewish values are from the rest of society, one can say on the one hand - shver tzu zein a yid, and on the other hand I am so proud to be a Jew.
The Medrash (Rus Rabbah 5:9) teaches that the poor person does more for the donor than the donor does for him. This is understood to mean that the poor individual, the recipient, transforms the donor into a giver. When Naomi asks Rus the identity of the one from whose field she gleaned, she responded (2:19) "the name of the man for whom I did today is Boaz." By becoming a giver, Boaz becomes much closer to Hashem who is the constant eternal giver.
I am reminded of the well known story of the misnagid who wanted to know why the Rebbe was late in the winter months in coming to shul in the morning. He once secretly followed the Rebbe and saw him go into the forest to cut wood and bring it to a poor elderly woman's home and prepare the fireplace concealing his identity. When the chassid said that his Rebbe was late because he was in heaven preparing his thoughts for prayer, the misnagid replied "if not higher". May we learn from Rifka and ever venture higher in our performance of chessed.