Both eating the forbidden fruit and listening to his wife to do so seem to have contributed equally to Adam's fate. This emerges from a careful reading of the text, (3:17) "...because you followed your wife's instructions and you disobeyed me as you ate from the forbidden tree...". Had both factors not contributed, the brevity of our Torah would certainly argue for simply saying "because you disobeyed me" or "because you ate from the forbidden tree", without adding that which we all know. Hashem's reasoning parallels Adam's original defense of his actions (3:12), "The wife that You gave to me, gave me the fruit and I ate it." While it's true that Adam's argument is hard to explain, how can we make sense of Hashem's response?
Furthermore, the Rabbis are quick to point out the conundrum that learning from our iconic forbearers creates: Adam is censured for heeding his wife while Avraham is mandated to carry out his wife's wishes. The conclusion (Devarim Rabba 4,5): "Some listen to their wives and lose and some reap benefit."
This directionless comment, suggests Harav Nosson Wachtfogel zt"l, the legendary mashgiach of Lakewood, must simply describe that it is natural for men to follow their wife's advice, but this only leads some in a productive direction. However, he argues that if indeed Chazal express that all men naturally respect their wives' advice and are responsible to carry it out, they are really instructing men to be more influential in shaping what their wife's indeed request. Thus is his complaint, "The wife that You gave me", Adam was saying that the wife that You fashioned could not possibly have directed me to veer away from You, so why should I even have considered distrusting her direction? To this Hashem respond that Adam was not influenced by "the wife" but rather "because you heeded your wife's request". That can be paraphrased as, "It's your home and your relationships and your priorities, and undoubtedly you heard from Chava exactly what you planted and nurtured in that home."
According to Rav Wachtfogel, Chazal, through the careful reading of Hashem's censure of Adam, are instructing the Avrahams of the world, who have carefully steered the culture of their homes and received Hashem's blessings in doing so, that they are indeed blessed to be able to gain much from the guidance and strength that now comes from the homes they carefully shaped.