I often found it seemingly juvenile, and yet the Torah obviously sees it sufficiently substantial to warrant a military exemption: "Let him go back to his home, lest he die in battle and another dedicate it...Let him go back to his home, lest he die in battle and another harvest it....Let him go back to his home, lest he die in battle and another take her [into his household as his wife]" (Devarim 20:5-7).
To be sure, starting a family, a home, and an orchard business all require focus and the investment of one's greatest energies. The uncertainty of whether one's early investments in some of the defining enterprises of life will bear fruit can spark anxiety that will hamper the necessary focus of any soldier. In turn, his value as a soldier is diminished and his participation in military exercises can be bettered by someone else. That is how Rav Boruch Epstein, author of the Torah Temima, justifies the exemptions. Certainly, ruminating over one's personal dreams could reduce his ability to be totally in for the team, something that may be necessary in military maneuvers, and that I am able to grasp. However, the Torah predicates this military deferral on the fear that someone else will take over one's dream rather than the fear of losing it entirely. Rashi quotes the Gemara that explains that it is human nature to be particularly tormented when someone else waltzes in and gains control over our efforts and our investment is consequently ignored. Nevertheless, should the fruitlessness of the investment and attendant instability inflicted on family seem secondary to the aggravation of feeling cast aside and irrelevant? Isn't the priority recorded born out of a self-absorption that is inconsistent with the ideal Torah character we are training ourselves to become?
Perhaps the Torah is not highlighting jealousy and self-centeredness at all, but rather encouraging each person to reflect on what makes their home, family, and business unique. Possibly the Torah challenges us to consider how each of these things could not be done in the same way by anyone else? What G-d given talents and what divinely ordained encounters characterize my accomplishments? Perhaps my business and profession could model integrity, caring, humility and the patience of providing opportunities to others, in a way that others don't? Given the "potentials" in place, should our home be bustling with goodness and expectations, or should our home prioritize peacefulness and acceptance and emotional safety? With all the givens of life, should I focus on legacies or on relationships?
Through the troubling and very real mind games of the soldier, we are all asked to wonder whether we will do justice to the avoda that we may be destined to accomplish. This is certainly a good kri'as ha'Torah with which to welcome the month of Elul!